


How to lie to Yvonne Hartman

by doctorwhat420



Series: Yvonne x Andy [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Big Finish, F/M, Fluff, Stranded, Time Travel, Torchwood One
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26115466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorwhat420/pseuds/doctorwhat420
Summary: Andy travels in time to meet Yvonne when she was the head of the Torchwood Institute in London. He has a request for her.
Relationships: Andy Davidson/Yvonne Hartman, Lisa Hallett/Ianto Jones
Series: Yvonne x Andy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861444
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	How to lie to Yvonne Hartman

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This is a Big Finish couple  
> 2) Takes place after Stranded when Andy and Tanya are the Doctor's companions  
> 3) Ianto is still very Torchwood One

“It is very important for you to stay here, Doctor!”

Andy was pointing his finger menacingly at the TARDIS control panel. The Doctor had been kind enough to bring him to London, 2005, as a thank you for helping him fix his time machine, and that was how the sergeant was thanking him?

“I think I will do as I please, actually.” The Doctor replied in his usual know-it-all tone.

Tanya put her hand on his shoulder, making him turn to her.

“I’m sorry Doctor, but you absolutely can’t know about this place, not yet.”

Andy nodded, glad his fellow Torchwood member was there to help control the situation. He was taking a big risk coming here, the Doctor couldn’t know about Torchwood yet, he was too early in his life. He was still his care-free self.

“Go Andy, you have one hour.” said the Doctor, not looking at him.

The Welshman didn’t miss a beat, he left the TARDIS and walked all the way to Canary Wharf. Andy knew he was losing precious time having to walk instead of having the TARDIS materialise in front of the building but he was afraid Torchwood London would pick it up on the CCTV and go frantic. The building was massive, he had only seen it in pictures, before it was destroyed. He went to London once, as a kid with his Pa, but he didn’t get to see much of the city, only the pub and the telly because there was a match on.

He walked in like nothing was out of the ordinary and he immediately felt underdressed. Everyone was wearing a suit or a blazer, it all looked so formal. He had heard of how different it all was from Torchwood Cardiff, but to actually witness it in person was a big shock. He tried to walk confidently to the front desk but he knew he looked nervous. This was the most top secret organisation of the country and he was walking in there in a police uniform.

“Um, hello!” he said to the receptionist. “I would like to talk to Yvonne Hartman, please? I’m, um, I’m an old friend?”

She looked up at him, eyeing him strangely.

“Sorry,” she said. “There’s no one by that name here.”

And she went back to typing on her computer, Andy smiled at the giant cubic monitor. He had forgotten how fast technology had evolved in fifteen years, mostly due to alien technology, sure but it still felt nostalgic to see it. He wondered if it was still Windows Vista or if they were on Windows 7 already. He suddenly remembered why he was here.

“Oh, uh well, I’m sorry but I don’t know the protocols of Torchwood London, I’m from the Cardiff Branch, you see? Um, I could give you my Torchwood ID, I suppose, but it’s from the future so I doubt you’ll have it in your database.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” replied the receptionist, not even looking at me.

“No, I really need to see Yvonne Hartman, please, I only have a limited time!”

“I’ll take it from here.”

Andy turned around at the sound of a soft female voice behind her. She was a short-haired dark woman who couldn’t be older than twenty-five. She didn’t look like she was working for security.

“Who-”

“Lisa Hallett,” she introduced herself. “Human Resource assistant. I’ve been sent to collect you.”

She didn’t reach out to shake his hand so he politely nodded. He followed her through the elevator. Andy got startled when the lift started talking and asking what kind of music Lisa wanted to listen to. The heavy metal was the only thing they heard whilst climbing the building. Andy wondered what would happen to the music if someone else came into the lift, but no one got in. He tried making small talk with her but she completely ignored him, texting someone on her phone.

They arrived at the top and Lisa guided him through a bunch of desks where people were typing furiously. Behind them was a glass wall office, and Andy’s heart skipped a bit when he finally saw the figure of the person he had been looking for.

_ ‘Calm down’,  _ he said to himself _. ‘She’s not your Yvonne. Well not that your Yvonne is actually yours. You… Ok Brain, you can shut up now.’ _

Ms Hallett walked towards the opened glass door and finally spoke.

“He’s here.”

Yvonne looked up and looked at Andy, staring at him with a big smile that got him to blush. His Yvonne certainly had the same way of looking at him, maybe with a bit more affection, but it was the same stare she used when she was trying to analyse everything about him.

“Thank you, Lisa.” replied Yvonne not looking at her. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

Andy was looking at Yvonne with a lot of fondness. He couldn’t help but smile. She looked stunning. She looked younger, a little more carefree and so huggable. He had to control himself even though her cheeks looked so squishable right now.

However as soon as Lisa left the room, closing the door behind her, Yvonne’s smile dropped and she crossed her arms over her chest and not in the way Andy liked where her breasts rested on her forearms.

“So, PC Andy Davidson, how come you know about Torchwood?”

“Sergeant, actually,” he replied automatically. “I work for Torchwood Cardiff.”

Yvonne went to her desk and sat on her chair, looking at her computer screen.

“You work for Captain Jack Harkness?”

She gestured for him to sit in front of her and he obeyed. He was used to her demands.

“Yes? Well not exactly, I mean I’m not from his department… I-” He breathed out, he had to tell her everything and make it interesting or she would just think he’s a madman who knows too much and retcon him into oblivion. “Ok Yvo- I mean, Ms Hartman, this is going to sound really, really weird but I’m from the future. And well, I work under your command.”

His eyes travelled to her face to see if he could read her emotions, just like he could do it with his Yvonne. He found it just as easy. She did not believe him, in fact she was probably trying to think of a way of retconning him. Her hand reached for the phone on her desk where she pressed a button.

“Ianto, could you be a love and bring two cups of tea please.”

Oh yes, his Yvonne also used this technique. This Ianto should then ask if she wanted sugar which was a code for retcon and… wait. Did she say Ianto?

“With sugar?” a voice answered and Andy felt his blood grow cold.

“On the side please, thank you.”

“Ianto Jones…” whispered Andy. He remembered the day he had to tell Ianto’s sister about his tragic fate. Hearing his voice had put a weight on his heart.

“You know him?” asked Yvonne leaning backwards on her chair. “I didn’t know Wales to be so small.”

“In the future,” continued Andy hoping she would believe him, “He will come work for Torchwood Cardiff.”

“Of course,” she replied. “In your future, I somehow move to Cardiff with my PA and hire you as a… what’s your job at Torchwood?”

“Police liaison.”

“I hire you as a police liaison, how marvellous and believable! Now tell me, Sergeant, why would I move to Cardiff?”

This was getting tricky. Andy knew Yvonne never moved to Cardiff. She would die fighting in a few months. He had to avoid the question, he had to make her believe him. He suddenly got an idea he felt dumb not having sooner.

“My phone! Of course!” he exclaimed and stood up. Yvonne jumped at his sudden move but he ignored that, unlocking his phone that funnily enough had Yvonne and him as his lock screen wallpaper. “You’d probably think a picture of us would be photoshopped but a video is much more believable.”

He was almost embarrassed going through his gallery, he never noticed how many pictures of food he had on here, and he had way too many RuPaul’s Drag Race memes (he saved them to share them with Yvonne). When he finally found a video he could share he smiled and pressed play, sliding the phone across the desk to her.

He could hear his voice over the recording.

_ “So how is the wine?” _

_ “Do you want my actual opinion or a nice word to make you feel better?”  _ came the dry reply of Yvonne Hartman.

_ “Lovely, I knew I could get you a nice gift.” _

_ “Andrew… Are you trying to please my palate or get me drunk to drag me to bed? Don’t be naughty, darling, or I’ll have to spank you.” _

_ “Great now I can’t send this to my mum.” _

Her laughter through the speaker brought a smile on his face. He missed her. He couldn’t wait to get back to her. The Yvonne that was in front of him well… She may look like her but she wasn’t her at all. It’s like she was not cooked enough.

“It’s well edited, I can give you that. We’ve come across this kind of video before, we developed the software at Torchwood One. We’re calling it “deep fake”, it takes a lot of time to render, but it’s doable.”

“Yes, but it’s not edited, it’s filmed on my phone, which by the way, is way too advanced for this time period! It’s obviously from the future!”

She squinted her eyes at him. She obviously had something to answer to that but she never got the opportunity because Ianto came in with a teapot on a tray. Andy immediately turned away so that his back was facing the young Torchwood employee. Jack had once told him that Ianto had an eidetic memory and even though he was not sure what it meant, it had the word ‘memory’ in it which meant he would remember this intervention.

“Thank you Ianto, darling, you’re marvelous!”

It somehow stung Andy’s heart to hear Yvonne call someone other than him darling. It was strange because she used it on a lot of people she was close to, he guessed it was because this Yvonne would never use it to talk to him.

“My pleasure, Yvonne. Do you need anything?”

His accent was a lot more pronounced than what Andy remembered.

“That will be all for now, you can go back to Lisa, I’m sorry to have interrupted the both of you.”

Ianto stammered on his voice and cleared his voice. Andy smiled, he had always assumed Ianto was gay since he and Jack had been quite the item, but it seemed he swinged both ways, that was so Torchwood.

“Sure. Wait, is that Welsh? It’s nice to see a fellow Welshman in here!”

Having forgotten about his uniform and Andy internally cursed (not a bad word, he could contain them pretty well). He was turning deep red and looking at Yvonne with big scared eyes. He mouthed ‘Help’ and she turned to Ianto. 

“Actually Ianto, sorry for disturbing you again but could you stay a bit? Close the door and come sit next to Sergeant Andy Davidson.”

“Oh my God…” said Andy sweating his head off. She had said his name, in what kind of world was he going to go back to? The universe surely had shifted… He had time travelled quite a few times thanks to Norton Folgate dragging him through weird naked adventures and knew his actions could actually impact the future. He was going through his memory to see if anything changed then realised he wouldn’t even know if that happened. It almost sent him into a panic attack. He really shouldn’t have come here. He didn’t expect to meet Ianto in the short time he had planned for his little visit.

Ianto took a seat next to him and started pouring tea for the three of them. Andy was still trying to hide his face but he knew that was almost impossible from this angle.

“Wow,” suddenly said Ianto. “What kind of phone is that?”

“An iPhone X.” replied Yvonne, surprising Andy. She knew so much about the future already.

“Andrew, please, can I call you Andrew? Don’t fret, I only have a few questions to ask you.”

“I’m sorry, Yvonne but we’re breaking a lot of time travelling laws by having Ianto here. The space time continuum-”

“Don’t worry about him,” she waved a sloppy hand towards Ianto. “He’s not leaving this office with his memory, neither are you.”

Ianto sighed but didn’t say anything against it. Andy guessed he was used to it.

“I need my memory,” said Andy. “I need you to do something for your future self and I need to remember it.”

“And tell me, Andrew…” he shivered at her tone. “Why would I believe anything you tell me?”

He swallowed.

“You don’t have to believe me, you just need to do it.”

Andy finally turned to look at Ianto. He had such a childish face, it brought tears to Andy’s eyes. He’d never really known Ianto, but he’d heard so many tales of him from Jack and he was right there. He wondered what would Jack trade to be in his place… Travelling with the Doctor, meeting a young impressionable Ianto… He turned to Yvonne again.

“You promise you’re going to retcon him?”

“I promise.”

“No, I need you to promise on your mother’s head.”

His answer took her by surprise. She probably wondered how he could possibly know about her unbreakable promise words.

“This is serious business, Yvonne.” he continued.

She looked at him, not saying a word.

“I’ll do it,” interrupted Ianto. “I don’t want to disturb the space-time continuum, you know.”

Andy believed him. He knew he was an honest man.

“So you’re from the future?” asked Ianto.

“Yes.”

“And since I’m going to remove all of this from my memory, care to tell me about mine?”

The policeman looked at Yvonne as if he was waiting for her permission. It was a work habit, it was like all of his decisions had first to be reviewed by her. She didn’t interrupt him, she wasn’t his boss after all, so Andy continued.

“I can’t tell you too much because Yvonne is keeping her memory but…” he swallowed. What was he even going to talk about? He had only heard tales of him, told by a man who loved him more than he loved himself (and God knew how much Jack Harkness loved himself). “You fall in love, like proper love,” he said. “You find your soulmate.”

“Lisa…” Ianto murmured and Andy shook his head.

“No, not L-Lisa it’s... “ he turned to Yvonne this time and said the next words looking at her. “It’s Captain Jack Harkness.”

“No, I’m not… I mean, I am, but not like this… Lisa she…”

“She… gets away?” He looked at him to see him with a confused expression on his face. “I don’t know the details, Ianto, I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

There was a moment of silence. Andy didn’t really know what to tell him. Ianto seemed evasive all of a sudden.

“Andy,” said Yvonne standing up, his phone in her hand. She was looking at the lock screen. “Imagine I believe you, what kind of relationship do we have? Because it doesn’t feel like it’s boss/employee.”

She came closer to him and showed him her palm, inviting her to take it. He blushed and grabbed her gently. He rose to his feet and she sensually came closer to him, their toes touching.

“What’s my favourite song to dance to?” she asked in a low voice.

“Blue Skies.” he whispered back. “by Benny Goodman.”

“Correct.”

She walked around him in an imaginary rhythm only she could hear. It was very intimate in the way her fingertips were never leaving his body.

“What’s my shoe size?”

“You say it’s 7 but it’s actually 9”

There was a moment of silence. Andy had his back turned to her, he trusted her fully and he knew she could see that.

“Correct,” she said.

“What is my birthday?”

“Trick question,” he replied smiling. “You have two birthdays.”

She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him over. Andy looked down at her. She was so pretty. He checked behind her and Ianto was pretending to read a file that had been on the desk but Andy knew he was still processing what he had revealed to him earlier.

Yvonne leaned on her tiptoes and Andy leaned forward a bit, holding her forearm gently. She came close to his ear and whispered.

“What’s my safe word?”

Andy suddenly felt very very hot, hearing her so close to him to whisper dirty things in his ear send a shot of electricity through his body.

“Asparagus,” he whispered back.

She slowly backed away and Andy knew he finally had her. She was blushing, her mouth slightly opened and she was so, so attractive. He couldn’t help it, he slowly put his arms around her waist and got her closer to him. She didn’t fight back, she seemed lost in thoughts. He hugged her tight, smelling her hair and leaving small kisses on top of her head.

_ ‘Not your Yvonne.’ _ he had to remind himself.

“If you don’t mind me,” said Ianto rising from his chair. “I have to get going.”

He popped a pill in his mouth that Andy knew was retcon and he was grateful that he respected his end of the bargain. Sadly, Ianto’s interjection seemed to break whatever mood was set and Yvonne broke the embrace. She thanked her employee with a nod and a smile and Ianto left.

“Why are you here, Andy?” she asked in a soft voice.

“I need you to do something, for your future self,” he replied, missing her touch so bad.

She came close to him again and slipped his phone back in his pocket and Andy wanted nothing else but to grab and hug her tight. She slipped away again and pressed a button on her desk, the windows suddenly became a little more tainted. The policeman wondered if it was a privacy filter.

“What is it, you want me to do?”

He wondered why she was suddenly trusting him… Knowing Yvonne she might not and might be playing a game with him (ready to stab him with liquid retcon), but it somehow felt genuine. He closed his eyes softly and exhaled through his nose. He had to trust her, he didn’t have a lot of time.

He went through his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, looking sadly at the empty place where a photograph could be placed, he went to the banknote pocket and grabbed a white business card and gave it to her.

She read it and slowly raised her eyes towards him. She frowned slightly before speaking.

“It’s a fertility clinic.”

“It is.”

“What’s going on?”

“You think you could freeze your…” Andy blushed. “You eggs for… for the future?”

Yvonne stared at him for what felt like an eternity.

“You’re…” she started not breaking eye contact. “In the future, you’re special to me, aren’t you?”

Andy smiled softly.

“I like to think so.”

The woman stared at the card again, then back to Andy who suddenly looked at his watch.

“Darn it! I have to go already!” he said. “I’m so sorry, I only have a limited time…”

He really didn’t want to leave but he promised the Doctor he would only be gone one hour and he already took twenty minutes walking there. He sighed and started walking towards the door, knowing that it would be really hard to say goodbye if he was facing her.

“Wait, how did you even get here?”

He froze.

“I think you know how.”

She had to know by now, the Doctor obviously. Her silence only confirmed his thoughts.

“Well, Andrew. Goodbye then.”

She grabbed his hand and he had no other choice than to turn and look at her one last time.

“Goodbye, Yvonne.”

And she kissed him softly on the lips. It surprised him but he still smiled into it.

“Will we meet again soon?”

Andy’s smile got sadder. She would never meet him. She would never love him and he would never love her. This Yvonne would die alone thinking her job is the only thing that matters.

“Very soon and I can’t wait to love you,” he replied as he finally left her office his face sombre and tired.

He knew she trusted him and that she would go to the fertility clinic. He was using her and he felt bad for it but it would help him greatly in his couple life. However, the one thing he would never forgive himself for was that this was the one and only time Andy Davidson ever lied to Yvonne Hartman.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I was sleep deprived when I wrote that. The idea seemed sweet, the execution is messy.


End file.
